Story #33

I stared at my bowl of salad while my friends engulfed large slices of pepperoni pizza. Grease covered their hands and dribbled from their lips. They looked like they were in heaven. I looked down at my leafy lunch choice and sighed. This was only day three of my diet.

“Oh, man, I’m stuffed. Does anyone want the last slice,” Bert asked. Everyone shook their head no. “Mari? You didn’t eat much. Take the last slice.”

Before I could refuse, he placed the slice in a to-go container. “Thanks, B.” I gave a half-hearted smile. In my head I was cursing myself for not being more restrained.

When I got home, I sprinkled more cheese on the slice of pizza and drenched it in ranch dressing. The slice was gone within seconds. Ranch dribbled down my stuffed mouth. I sighed and looked in the fridge. I knew I should at least drink water, but I went for the unfinished Dr. Pepper instead. Day three was ruined.

I walked to the bathroom, peeled off my tight clothes, and stared at my naked body. Rolls and folds of fat covered my sides. My arms were the size of a chunky teenager’s thighs. Cellulite sprinkled my arms and covered my legs. They were the battle scars from the food wars I lost over the years. My stomach. Oh, God, my stomach. It was a massive chunk of fat. There was enough fat in there to keep all of Alaska fed and warm. My blubber.

I stood on my scale and attempted to look at the number. My stomach blocked the view so much that I had to grab my phone and take pictures of number. 396.7 lbs. Tears rolled down my chubby cheeks and made their way to my chins. Once the crying stopped, I threw on some clothes to exercise in. One day, I’ll be 185 lbs – my goal weight. Until then, I couldn’t give up.

This was easy to write. I went out drinking with friends yesterday and one of them bought pizza. I hadn’t had pizza in awhile, but I broke down and  ate TWO slices. I felt gross. My wonderfully thin friend ate around 4 slices & had some wings. *sigh* Weight is an ongoing battle for me. I don’t   look like Mari from my story, but the possibility is there. Fortunately my sweet puppy keeps me active these days.♡

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