When Martin and his wife lost the baby, things were beyond changed. There were so many unanswered questions and even more confusing explanations. Martin was devastated, especially because he felt like he couldn’t even properly be there for his wife.
His unfiltered and seemingly unaffected wife said, “We’re the marked ones. We lost a baby.”
Martin, unable to control his outrage at such a silly statement, replied, “Why do people even say that they ‘lost’ a baby? It’s not like we played hide and seek with our child and just couldn’t find them afterwards! It’s not like we took them to a major amusement park and turned away for a second, not realizing that they waddled away! We didn’t ‘lose’ anyone.” He put up his fingers to make air quotes any time he said the words “lost” or “lose.”
His wife shook her head and shrugged. It had been a long day for her as well. If she was being honest, which she rarely was nowadays, she was relieved about the miscarriage. It would have only been a matter of time before she would have had to tell Martin that she was having an affair and didn’t actually know who the father of the baby was. This was her scapegoat. Even still, seeing Martin as hurt as he was surprised her. He barely paid any bit of attention to her, and sex was almost nonexistent in their marriage. He was too arrogant and naive to believe that she could have an affair.
“I just need some air. I’m going to change and jog around the block,” Martin said after letting out a big sigh.
His wife, Anita, tried her best to look like she cared and nodded her head. She wasn’t always this way. She wasn’t always this cold, and raw. She used to be head over hills for Martin. It only took a year after they were married for him to begin screwing someone else. He thought that she didn’t know, but she knew the whole time. She’d overhear conversations, or notice when his ring finger was blank, but she stayed with him. She was devoted to him and to their marriage. Their pledge to stay with each other in front of everyone in the church meant something to her.
Martin jogged for about 45 minutes before he returned home to Anita, soundlessly sleeping on their bed. He wiped the sweat from his brow. “She’s so strong and beautiful,” he thought. He couldn’t remember exactly when he first started cheating, but he knew by now that it had been the majority of their marriage.This miscarriage jolted everything back into perspective.
He wanted to leave Anita before she told him the great news about them becoming parents. The baby is what made him want to stay with her. Watching her move about her days like a zombie is what he needed after the miscarriage, though. He realized that he didn’t even know his wife. What things make her happy? What could he do to make life in their marriage feel like a life that they both want to be a part of again?
The next few days zoomed by. Before they knew it, a few months had passed since “the incident,” as Anita called it. Neither one of them was cheating on the other anymore, but not much else had changed in their relationship. They still barely spoke a word to each other, only giving constant updates on how their day went like, “Work was awful today,” or “My boss said another stupid thing today.” They no longer talked about their hopes, dreams, or fears. They no longer stayed up late giggling and reminiscing about when they first started dating. They were together, yet they were both so alone.
A year passed before they began to have sex again. It was conventional and boring. Anita desperately wanted to be pregnant again, and Martin desperately wanted to fulfill his sexual desires with someone else. Pretty soon, both wishes came true; however, Anita had another miscarriage. This one hurt her. This one was supposed to be THE one. After having the same type of doctor visit and the same suggestions for counseling, the couple was exhausted. Once home, Martin sat on the couch and stared at the black TV screen. Anita promptly headed towards their bedroom, dropped to the floor, and let out a screeching sound which eventually turned into crying. Now she knew without a doubt that she was a marked one, a victim of a limbo system where she continues to get pregnant and continues to lose the baby. It was too much for her to handle.
Martin knew what he had to say, but it no longer felt like a good time to say it. Unable to bring himself to wait any longer, he slowly walked into the bedroom. His wife was now laying on the bed, shaking and crying uncontrollably. “Anita, we need to talk about this,” he began, “But first you need to know that I loved you which is why I married you.”
Anita turned her head towards Martin, face blotchy and red from all the crying. She noted the past-tense form of love used in his sentence. This was it, she was going to lose Martin, too.
“I’ve been having an affair, and the woman I’ve been with is pregnant.” There were no words to describe the immediate shock and pain Anita felt. She was absolutely alone now.
I don’t usually write about depressing things because they make me feel…depressed. I hope this story made you feel something. The good stories are the ones that make you feel. Until next time…